From Recovery to Life Coaching, The Bayer Brothers Reveal Their Journey to Success!

06/09/20

(Z-61066V) CM1020: DAVID BAYER

 

(START PODCAST)

 

 

COACH MIKE BAYER: Welcome back to “Always Evolving with Coach Mike”. I have someone that’s very close to me as a guest today. He's actually--uh, we’re of the same blood at least that’s what we believe. Um, my brother David Bayer is joining us.

 

 

DAVID BAYER: Elk… common elk.

 

 

MIKE: Common elk, which uh according to the--what’s that test you take where you can get your ancestry and DNA.

 

 

DAVID: Yeah 23andme…

 

 

MIKE: 23andme.

 

 

DAVID: ...ancestry.com. Yeah.

 

 

MIKE: Okay. According to that I’m 49% Kazakhstan Jew. I don’t know how it came back for you.

 

 

DAVID: I think, I think similarly but I, I um--yeah I think I might have been a (UNINTELLIGIBLE) by Johnny or something.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah that might even be it.

 

 

DAVID: That may even be it.

 

 

MIKE: We started to collaborate a little bit. I had him participate in like a--one of our zoom groups this week that I have it um, you know people can join for free. And it’s every week we kind of have someone different that kind of shares their wisdom. This week you spoke about the art of accepting and how to accept things we couldn’t change and um you know it’s--my brother and I are in the same kind of space. Um, and people will often say, “Wow gosh it’s so amazing you two should--I bet you guys are working together all the time”. And we started to more recently, yeah?

 

 

DAVID: Yeah.

 

 

MIKE: Tell everyone kind of your story and how you ended up in the space.

 

 

DAVID: Uh, well I mean I came to the space through my drug and alcohol uh, addiction and recovery. So, like pre this version of David, I was heavily into internet marketing. I graduated college in 1998, so the internet was all of a sudden a thing. So I really loved building business on the internet. And then um, around 2009/2010 my life had just become unimaginable. I couldn’t realize what an asshole I really was. And to everyone, to you I remember a story specifically we had when you were early on in your recovery and you came over to my house, that was--you know my friends and I partying. And like it wasn’t even on my radar how inappropriate that was and unsupportive of you know, you.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah I remember I visited you in Orlando. It was a trip because the year pior you were dealing with me when I was in Meth Psychosis.

 

 

DAVID: Yeah ip in New York.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah and he came and stayed with me because I was such a mess, right?

 

 

DAVID: Yeah but I--like I was such a mess too. I came to stay with you and at night I went out to strip clubs. I mean (LAUGHTER) I wasn’t exactly you know the highest level of support.

 

 

MIKE: And I think I visited you had like I don’t know it was--it was in my first year of sobriety, I don’t even remember.

 

 

DAVID: Maybe yeah maybe a year.

 

 

MIKE: And you had like pipes all around.

 

 

DAVID: Everything I was like, “Mike you want to smoke marijana?” like that has nothing to do with your addiction (STAMMERS) but you know it’s like when you’re not--number one when you’re checked out of your life and number two when you have no personal experience of recovery like you’re just not aware.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

 

DAVID: You know and I was in an uncaring place in my life. But you know that, that doesn’t sustain itself very long so I think it was probably four or five years later I called you one night and I was like hey I have a problem. It was the night after after I blacked out for the first time. And uh, like I was so fortunate that--you know when I look back there’s just like a ton of, um, fortunate synchronicity, right? Because I could have easily had no one to call. But not only could I call someone, I could call my brother. But not only could I call my brother but I knew you’d point me in the right direction because it’s so easy that, that first glimmer of maybe like hey I have a problem like you could squash that down pretty easily. But there were all these open doors for me, you know you found me someone to go speak to and uh in Orlando. When I started working a twelve program. And like plus that blew me away, it was like you know an idea of a power greater than myself. That I was actually responsible for my life and that I should consider how I treat other people and I mean it just seems so common sense today but it wasn’t then and that began my journey into really being curious about--like if i can change this, what else can I change? And so…

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

 

DAVID: ...that’s how I got into personal growth.

 

 

MIKE: I remember um, you used to--well I think it was a learned behavior in our family. Um, you know I got--you’re five years older. I think I got sober, uh I just celebrated 18 years when you got in…

 

 

DAVID: I’m like four years and two months and you make me sound so old like now it’s jumped up to five years.

 

 

MIKE: You know what it is, you’ve been doing this--it feels so much longer than that.

 

 

DAVID: No our age difference.

 

 

MIKE: Oh! Oh, okay.

 

 

DAVID: I’ma be seven years old than you pretty soon.

 

 

MIKE: Four years, two months and then how long--when did you get into recovery?

 

 

DAVID: Uh about 11 years ago, 11 and a half years ago.

 

 

MIKE: Got it. And do you uh, I remember, I remember which I think is a family thing of ours I don’t know if I was as much as a participant in it but there was always a blaming of others of how you feel or the need to be right.

 

DAVID: Oh yeah forsure yeah, there was, there was no yeah at least the way I fell off the apple tree like there was no personal responsibility. And so when you don’t have any personal responsibility, which is really a weak place to operate from because it basically means you have no ability to respond, right?

 

MIKE: Mmm.

 

 

DAVID: Like , then it’s everyone else's fault all the time.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

 

DAVID: And I think that was an interesting dynamic for you and I to go through because you had I remember when we were in Las Vegas one time having dinner and it turned into a big argument and I think it was back then when I was really into conspiracy theories which to this day…

 

 

MIKE: Yes.

 

 

DAVID: ...don’t know how theatrical it is but (STAMMERS) but I was approaching it you know from a very unhealthy place. And um, I just remember it was all your fault and it was all dad’s fault and it was all everyone’s fault. And you think that it just doesn’t last very long like thankfully, right? Like it’s not--eventually you go oh I’m sort of the common denominator in my life.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah I have like a hyper sensitivity to--it’s probably because the way I grew up with mom and our sister and just the family. When uh people are a victim in life…

 

 

DAVID: Yeah blaming, yeah.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah where I’m like you gotta get it together like at a certain point you know, you gotta accept the things you cannot change and get on with it, right? Like…

 

 

DAVID: Yeah.

 

 

MIKE: ...and look within yourself and because we don’t learn these things in school and because we’re not taught these unless we grow up with certain types of family. Then as you and I learned this later on but then we changed our pain into a challenge into helping others and you know it’s uh, you’ve been incredibly supportive and helpful to me. And um and maybe you can share kinda because it is kinda funny like how I before was like I’m not coaching, I’m not doing television, none of this is for me, right like…

 

 

DAVID: Yeah. Well first I’m super proud of you.

 

 

MIKE: Me too.

 

 

DAVID: I mean I really genuinely am so proud of who you’ve become and it’s easy to see I think someone in your position um, and to not appreciate you know that you were doing intervention in corn fields. And I remember when you started, really starting to get your business going your therapy business and your intervention business in La um, you were, you were dating someone at that time and you know you were building furniture and putting stuff in and building your sober houses and in a lot of ways doing it on your own.

 

 

MIKE: Mm hm.

 

 

DAVID: You know the business that I have today I built with Carol, my wife. Um, your sister-in-law and uh I just, I just want to say like I am so unbelievably proud of who you’ve become and the impact you’re making in people’s life and the world because I know the distance that you’ve gone like it’s been multiple maratons to get there and that’s like the story behind the story.

 

 

MIKE: Thank you.

 

 

DAVID: Yeah, you’re welcome.

 

 

MIKE: Um…

 

 

DAVID: But yeah in the early days--so Michael and I are very different because I, I love speaking. I love being on stage, I really aspire to. Um, yeah and some of that was authentic, some of that was ego and early on Mike, you’d be like are you crazy like why would you? There was such an inability to comprehend and I think at that time you must have thought it was all ego and like fame chase. You’re like why would you wanna a be in front of thousands of people talking, and spending three days teaching Why would you want to have these groups of people who join your one-year program, travel around the world with you like just you know, just leave me alone. And you have to…

 

 

MIKE: That was--why would you want to be well known? Like…

 

 

DAVID: Yeah why would you want to be well known? But coming from you being the influence from behind really famous people, right? And so like in your--you know your line of work the, the power was in the obfuscate. And then in the way I was looking at it, you know coming up through like the brand (UNINTELLIGIBLE), Toni Robin, personal brands, personal growth. You know it was all about growing your personal brand and being out there. And um yeah, you brought up a good point one time which I think is a really interesting topic conversation for another time which is in this space that like you know we’re both in, you kinda got one foot in the personal growth space and one foot in your clinical space it’s the wild west like anyone can be a coach. Um, you don’t have to pre-qualify before you enroll them in your program vise-verse taking them on as a patient. But like you’ve always had a really interesting perspective on the difference between kind of clinical work and personal....

 

 

MIKE: Yeah because I felt like and, just, and--you know it a dance like I’ll see people who create content that make people feel good and think differently and then they’ll want your coaching program and I’m like (STAMMERS) coach someone like--because that’s what I used to say to you earlier on in your career like get…

 

 

DAVID: Get--like coach people.

 

 

MIKE: Get the person who says F-you, get the person--get a gun pulled on you, get someone who is suicidal, like just you know getting the range of emotions because that makes it better to help and assist people.

 

 

DAVID: Yeah and it’s unbelievable how hard it is to get someone to pull a gun on you when you’re actually looking for it. But that--remember I was working on my book back in 2014 ‘cause like thae was the idea I had while I was…

 

 

MIKE: Oh my God. I’m sorry.

 

 

DAVID: And you’re like go and I’d call you everyday going like I’m just trashing with this book and you basically in a nice way were saying like yeah because you don’t really know anything yet. You got a bunch of ideas but go and apply them. And to do that you kept saying get dirty, get dirty, go coach people, go find people. I remember my first client that I got, based on that I sorta just put it out, let the Universe decide.

 

 

MIKE: Ywah.

 

 

DAVID: Yeah and I, and one of my um friends who attended my first workshop. Uh, who is in his late 40s. Had a son who was 19-years-old was like hey would you coach my son, he’s very socially awkward with woman, you know he’s a gamer and, and so you know I’m coaching for a hundred and twenty-five bucks an hour this 19-year-old kid on how to be comfortable in social settings, right? But that’s--a hundred, a hundred percent I see that that’s the way. And so many people try to short cut that process and can at some level because of this whole influencer model now, you know…

 

 

MIKE: Mm hm.

 

 

DAVID: ... you know on social media, you can uh even have a coaching certification program without ever having to coach someone.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah and I think, I think it’s um it ends up being extremely stressful and become pretty unimaginable if it’s not--like you said everyone want to kind of take the quicker route and what--but really it’s the wisdom of working with people. The wisdom of learning about yourself, helping people like how your own family of origins. You gotta be careful so they don’t project on other people. What insecurities can be brought up and like how to get fully outside of self. And um, you know I too am really proud of you. I mean you went from running a--I mean how many people did you have at your first event? Your first little thing you had like…

 

 

DAVID: Oh yeah.

 

 

MIKE: ...ten people in the community.

 

 

DAVID: I don’t know like 23 people.

 

 

MIKE: Twenty-three people and then your last even had how many?

 

 

DAVID: Well we had over 1,200 people coming to the event then covid hit and so that affected things but you know we had 600 people show up at the event.

 

 

MIKE: Right. But you know you’re having you know you’ve multiplied like so many times over and now you have a whole community of people who follow you that do you kind of like as their leader um that sign up for all your different types of programs and um, it’s been good to see. So what are you trying to evolve with in terms of your career now? Now that you’ve made seven figures, you’ve made good seven figures for a few years now like so the career and money is not what is driving you, right?

 

 

DAVID: Yeah. Yeah it’s really um, i think it’s two things. It’s continue to expand impact because we see the impact were having on the people who are in our community and get into our work. And then the other thing that Carol and I really committed to is like--so just take a quick step sideways, it’s like so many people want to get back to the way things were right now. Right?

 

 

MIKE: Uh huh.

 

 

DAVID: It’s like we’re, we’re at a time where we’re in physical distancing. We're at, stay at home. Things are stating to open up and there’s this fundamental question like you know do we really want to go back to the way things were? And i think that what we’ve seen is that, there were fundamental laws in the system that we were living in and I’m really interested in bringing people together to create better systems for people. Um, you know to take people out of poverty, to um, heal the planet, to um to have justice in the world, you know. Bring at home watching Netflix this whole time. I’ve been watching a series called Dirty Money. And it’s like you know it’s like there’s a lot of unfairness in the world.

 

 

MIKE: Mm hm.

 

 

DAVID: So it’s you know it has a little bit of Batman feel to it. It’s like--but we we really feel there a lot of people who don’t and I think this is where you and I also intercept just you have a slightly different perspective. There are people who have very low capacity to defend themselves.

 

 

MIKE: Mm hm.

 

 

DAVID: It's a very powerful predator system. And so um, you know we (STAMMERS) we wanna represent those people. We want to help people who can’t really help themselves (STAMMERS) and bring them, bring them up in the world.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah it’s like and you know I’ve been --like you raise, I don’t know it’s like two hundred thousand bucks for sex tracking per charity like in a day. Didn’ you raise--how much did you raise in a day?

 

 

DAVID: Yeah well we raised--well one of the foundations we support in India they rescue abandoned orphan children.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

 

DAVID: A lot of them become trafficked. Um, and so we raised like three hundred thousand dollar for them at one of our events. We support another organization in Colombia. Uh, because Colombia is not like the United States. If you have physical or mental um disabilities, there’s basically no support for you.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

DAVID: So we work with an organization that provides support for people there. And our vision is to have hundreds of organizations around the world, right, that are helping to lift up the people who need support.

 

MIKE: Yeah I wonder what we can collaborate on. I mean I guess we’re doing it now by I have you on my zoom group. Um…

 

 

DAVID: That was a lot of fun, that’s a great group too.

 

 

MIKE: It’s good people right?

 

 

DAVID: Good people.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah their like--they’re into it. You know so it’s like, it’s uh been a benefit of this pandemic is being able to bring people together. Who otherwise maybe wouldn’t of come together or sought help or want to feel better about themselves. And you have a group on what is it Sunday?

 

 

DAVID: Yeah I’ve been trying to get consistent with it but we call it “Sunday Citadel Sessions” we started a little facebook group called “Daive Bayer Citadel” and you (STAMMERS) the tring to manage so many groups and so any communities within our community. But the idea is really to create a place where people who you know want to create something different moving forward and come together and we can be in conversation around all that. You know, along with daily inspiration, motivation, that type of thing.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah. That’s awesome I thik um, you're in florida and then you’re buying a place in Puerto Rico right?

 

 

DAVID: Yeah. I mean (STAMMERS) we're done with orlando. So we were looking for something in California, you know coming out to LA. We were looking in Austin, Texas and um you know as I mentioned, I think I mentioned. Karol’s Coloumbian and so we were even interested in going back down into Latin America or Mexico and then we visited Puerto Rico and it’s just a cool place. I had a lot of preconceived notions about it and I remember you telling me like yes it’s super cool, you’ve got some good friends there.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

 

DAVID: Um so it looks like that’s the next set plan as soon as things open then we can start looking at places. We really want to go and (UNINTELLIGIBLE) people. You see them anyway--show like Puerto Rico hasn’t gotten the support form the rest of the United States. It ‘s because they’re Puerto Rico and um and um and so we’re excited if we move down to actually do that like support schools, to support local farming, to build business and you know really invest where we live.

 

 

MIKE: That’s awesome.

 

 

DAVID:I think I’d love to hear more about your experience as you’re finding your way through this, this personal development phase because um, one of the things that I know you for is being authentic and like…

 

 

MIKE: Uh huh.

 

 

DAVID: ...doing it your way. You know like you have all collective taste. You’ve got know the artwork that you like. You’ve got collective friends. You know a lot of people are doing things because other people are doing them and you do things because you want to do them…

 

 

MIKE: Yeah that’s true.

 

 

DAVID: (STAMMERS) and I think that’s a really unique utility . Uh, in fact you may even do things because other people don’t want to do them like you’re that far on the spectrum so…

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

 

DAVID: ...I’m just curious you know what you’re seeing is you’re in a space right now which is an influencer space, a personal development space that has a lot of doing like other people do it. And just to get your thoughts around that either what you’re looking around doing differently or how does someone, who’s in a space like this do it uniquely and authentically and stay.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah and maybe that’s what it is--how do you, how do you grow something and do it in the authentic way um that feels right to you and also is practical. RIght and it makes sense you do have me nailed um like you're the only the powerful living experience (UNINTELLIGIBLE) threw, is the only coaching event I ever been to. Um and I know that there’s like you’re right it’s very easy tofall into what other people are doing uh or how they’re doing it.

 

 

DAVID: Or the strutcher right of like how it’s done.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah. Yeah like recently the art work behind me and I’m like oh I should turn that into pajamas so whenever I’m on the podcast I have a different piece of art work in my house that are pajamas I can sit in because I’d be more comfortable in pajamas, I’ll look like my art and it’s more enjoyable. (UNINTELLIGIBLE) so I was done yesterday and I’m like I have the text messages now it’s all these photos of all the work literally in my house which I can show you on the screen, they’re pretty cool. Um and, and I think it’s like--the reality is comparison, comparing to other people is you know it’s an old say, it’s the root of unhappiness or part of unhappiness or jealousy. It’s just so for me the more I dig into what actually--even this podcast right? Like I started out, going out who should I have? Right? As soon as I go who should, who should now I say you should all over yourself. And so I really gotten out of should and get it. Interested in I love, I’m passionate about, I’m interested in, I’m curious about um, I’m excited about and just kind of changing that language. I think--again I really pride myself on not conforming to anyone or anything. And um, and it’s also for me, it’s fellas that shared with you, you know putting yourself out there more and more. Uh, you can feel a little bit more vulnerable in terms of like “Uh oh is someone going to be upset with this?” Because really my intention is to help people. I don’t my intention is not to put out a message that would make someone upset. But that’s just the nature of the business of you know as you’re kind of growing something. So I think it’s um honesty, and um--yeah I mean we’re very different, right? Because you look at a business model, the business of you have goals, um you’re extremely strategic and I’m a little more like um, what’s life bringing to me? Uh, what do I love today? And they’re both ways that work for both of us. Um, but I think it’s getting back to like I always think it’s like for example like I love Magic and Gathering, you know that right?

 

 

DAVID: Yeah.

 

 

MIKE: So I--and I also have a tattoo of Merilyn.

 

 

DAVID: I mean who doesn’t?

 

 

MIKE: Yeah who doesn’t love Magic and Gathering. I mean you got me hooked on Magic and Gathering, which changed my life by doing that.

 

 

DAVID: Yes, you’re welcome.

 

 

MIKE: But for me I’m like oh I love that game a lot of people don’t, right? And I’m like okay how do I take something, so I’m like a wizard. The best self is a wizard, so I can still have it magical and then I create a wizard head, that’s a logo. And then I’m like oh what if I create a children’s book called, “The wizard who couldn’t case the spell” . And I just keep working on it and it’s authentic to me instead of where I was finding myself going was like what should I say like…

 

 

DAVID: Mm hm.

 

 

MIKE: ...like I could say it through a wizard head that’s a cartoon and it can be really inspiring for people. You’ve just always encouraged me to be myself so like even when you say that to me--like when you say you know, you do things very different. You have a collective taste for me? That’s like the best compliment ever.

 

 

DAVID: Right.

 

 

MIKE: You know?

 

 

DAVID: Yeah but you bring up such a good point because I think we all want to--we all want originality.

 

 

MIKE: Mm hm.

 

 

DAVID: Like we all want to be original. But it’s scary because you’re actually not doing something that’s already known. And like what you’re really talking about is where all in novation comes from. It’s where all creatively comes from and if you’re operating from well I should do it this way or that way, there’s nothing new there.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

 

DAVID: And uh--but you do uh have a great knack for, for being able to do it because I find that most people um, are too afraid to let go of that structure uh that they think works for other people uh and they just end up following it. And (STAMMER) and then they’re really generous doesn’t get to be expressed...

 

 

MIKE: Mmm.

 

 

DAVID: …like that is. And you know and you and I talked about too, it’s reiterative we all find ourselves in that place where we’ve created something that at one point in time felt authentic and then you’re like wait a minute, this isn’t me anymore you know…

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

 

DAVID: ...it’s hard to let go of it.

 

 

MIKE: It’s hard. It’s hard and there’s money and there’s expectation and people want that from you and…

 

 

DAVID: Yeah. And that’s the important thing right? That, That’s the crazy thing I think that is the big takeaway is as long as you live in an inspired way authentically the--a lot of the other stuff figures itself out. The money figures itself out. It makes you even more attractive, the path sort of unfolds right as so and i think that’s why people are so afraid of it. It’s like wait a minute I shouldn’t be spending any time trying to design pajamas to match my art work. And I even, I even watched from fairly closely at your progress and we talked about this--I remember distinctly on one of our phone calls where you’re like maybe I should be more organized and I’m like why?! What’s not working right now?! So just keep doing whatever you’re doing because it seems--it seems to work out. It;s your process, you’re right. Mine’s very different right like I’m (UNINTELLIGIBLE)

 

 

MIKE: How do you--let me ask you though when do you feel like you have the hardest time still in your life with this being authentic?

 

 

DAVID: Um yeah so the first thing that comes to mind is like with my, my social media videos that I’m posting…

 

 

MIKE: Mmm.

 

 

DAVID: ….even though I really want to help people and I want to talk about not being good enough and I want to talk about how you feel there’s not enough time. Or I want to talk about imposter syndrome, and I--the videos are good. I still feel like it’s still fitting a formula.

 

 

MIKE: Mmm.

 

 

DAVID: And so you know, you know we kind of have a podcast there’s like twelve episodes that have been there for like four years. They were like videos that I shot and we ripped the audio files down. I can’t believe that like 18 thousand people actually listen to those 12 episodes right but--and I know those aren’t big numbers and the podcast just amazes me but so now I’m really stepping back and going like no how do I want my podcast to be my art? Like what’s going to be different uh, about it? And I started coming up with some ideas. So I think it’s just that--it’s so easy to fall into on one hand the structures are really helpful you know it’s like cuz you shouldn’t, if you’re pretty much start a business in the helping business you know you don’t just go out to a street corner wearing a banana and say we’ll coach you for 30 minutes. That’s a bad strategy right? So there are good stratories out there that should be followed, how do you use them kind of get the thing off the ground and then expand into your originality right? So it’s a dance like you talked about like the idea um combination of the two really sits somewhere ‘cause I think you and I are on extreme sides of the spectrum. Like is an integration of what--how your genus works and how my genus works. And that’s been one of my goals is to, is to listen to the advice that you’ve given me over the last you know, five or six years we’ve been talking about this. And try to be more free and try to more allowing.

 

 

MIKE: Do you know that thing that I, that I think and I’ve told you this before years ago, it’s back when you used to make uh videos that were very funny in high school. Just for the sake of it being entertaining and funny. And I--you’re actually very clever and whity and (UNINTELLIGIBLE) and you go on an emotional rollercoaster just like me. We’re like the same (UNINTELLIGIBLE)

 

 

DAVID: You say actually like people wouldn’t really believe that. You’re like actually.

 

 

MIKE: Meaning like you’re ridiculous. You can be extremely ridiculous.

 

 

DAVID: Yeah.

 

 

MIKE: But like you would not what I’m saying is you would never know from your videos.

 

 

DAVID: Right sure.

 

 

MIKE: Like me I’ll talk to myself as a social media platform and I’ll be like complaining to myself like I’ve gone--I didn’t used to do that.

 

 

DAVID: Right you’ll do the throw off the robe walk into the pool thing.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah like because I’m like I would do that in my personal life, why wouldn’t I put it out there and then people would be like well they really need to know Mike what they’re getting with you as a coach. Someone said to me the other day, they go it’s really hard to take you seriously and I said--I responded you can take me anyway you want I put a chick with her hair out, I put a guy doing the vogue like take me however you want and (STAMMERS) take you serious. Since when did self help and personal development be like this dark depressing thing like and I feel like in your videos the one thing that I would lean into if I were you--it’s just my opinion, is more of the skit, funny you can say the same thing to really clever ways and I think like that would be really happy. That would make me really happy to see because that’s what I know from you.

 

 

DAVID: Yeah.

 

 

MIKE: And I know it takes time, right? Like it takes so much work and time and then it’s like okay how is this actually equate into a business model. But you have so many clever ideas.

 

 

DAVID: Yeah no I appreciate that. I think that’s, I think that’s what comes out actually at the powerful living experience.

 

 

MIKE: Right.

 

 

DAVID: It’s such a designed event. The music is designed. We bring in the (UNINTELLIGIBLE) tribes men. We do the breath work--we do the… And how I show up on stage.

 

 

MIKE: And you’re dancing on stage.

 

 

DAVID: I’m dancing on stage. How I, how I was dancing, I don’t technology get off the ground as you kindly pointed out. It’s not really jumping but uh, boom I go up on my tippy-toes. But that is I think (STAMMERS) the aspect that you’re talking about which is why the event has been so successful because I feel when other people are there right? There’s that connection, and then in that connection there’s that comedy and there’s that win. Um, so yeah I appreciate it, you bring up a good point, it’s really just connecting differently. And you’re right it is a lot of work, I mean it’s just (STAMMERS) it’s defending and having clarity around it. I think that’s the other thing is that especially once you start to achieve some level of success in anything it build up such momentum, that like you don’t give yourself the space to set back and have that clarity. And that’s when you wake up one day and you’re like shit why am I doing what I’m doing right now like how did this happen? And anybody looking from the outside in, would think this is amazing but I’m not happy anymore.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah (STAMMERS) so you would say it would mainly be videos that you put out uh, representing like the flavor of who you are.

 

 

DAVID: Yeah what we were talking about, like where I find it’s a challenging…

 

 

MIKE: Yeah

 

 

DAVID: ...to be authentic or try to figure out how to do it my way.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

 

DAVID: Yeah, yeah because it’s very being seen too, right? It’s you know you’re being seen. I think you know when I’m with my friends or when I’m with my wife or when I’m with you, I’m like you know--there isn’t--I’m already seen. It’s already a known quantity. But the internet is like these invisible eyeballs on you.

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

 

DAVID: And so you know it’s like there’s--I heard someone describe the other day something that happens as coaches are building their business and it was like this shame loop. Because somewhere they learned they should be doing Facebook lives, but then they do a Facebook live and they got like two people watching their Facebook live. And now they finally built up the courage to do a Facebook live and now they’re ashamed of the fact that only two people showed up to watch them right. It just loops, it loops and loops. And so it’s like…

 

 

MIKE: Yeah.

 

 

DAVID: Yeah, I mean if (STAMMERS) and that’s where I go back to these, you know these principles that I think are so important which are really the foundation of what we teach, which is really understanding that none of that matters, really understanding that self-love is what matters, really understanding giving other people is what matters, really trusting that life is working for you and everything is going to be okay.

 

 

MIKE: Mm hm.

 

 

DAVID: Because there’s so many ways you can get entangled with this, like deep unreality that’s being projected, you know at us all the time. And that’s why I really feel for people, it’s not easy, it’s not easy to break free from all of that. I mean you go all the way back to where this conversation started, you know? It’s not that I was you know an asshole, it’s like I had no awareness when I was sitting there smoking pot on the back porch when you're less than one year sober coming over to my house. And so it’s like there, we’re just caught up in so much of this stuff right now, that you know it can be hard to get above all of it and be like who do I really want to be. And that’s why again I think you’re doing such an amazing work in the world whether it’s with Best Self or your upcoming book because that’s what it’s helping people do. It’s kind of helping people untangle like all the cords. Uh, and to give themselves an opportunity to consciously define the way they wanna be and what kind of life they want to have.

 

 

MIKE: Well listen man…

 

 

DAVID: Good on you little brother.

 

 

MIKE: Good on you big bro. I’m proud of you, I look forward to uh as you’ve known we’ve talked about this when you uh, got married--which I really want that video where I married you guys in the street. Um...

 

 

DAVID: Yeah I’m working on that.

 

 

MIKE: ...and of these days you’ll send me the video footage and I’ll cut it. Um, but uh, uh you know I really appreciate you, you talking to me on this and I know we’re brothers but it’s also, it’s really good to see each other win I think for a long time even in this space everytime we kind of got close it would be like we burned our--both of our hands. Like somehow ego’s got involved or hurt feelings or family of origin and then we made a decision to change the legacy of our family dysfunction. Where essentially no one talks to anyone else through the years and that uh, we’ve really worked hard to change that uh, legacy, right?

 

 

DAVID: Yeah.

 

 

MIKE: And so you guys you should get my brother’s free online program. If you go to mindhackprogram.com/coachmike, that’s mind hack, h-a-c-k program dot com backslash Coach Mike, my brother is offering just for you guys a free downloadable bad ass-- do you want to say what it is that you’re giving them?

 

 

DAVID: Yeah, I got, I got the book I finally did write years later which was my, my first book is called “Mind Hack” uh, it’s an ebook. We’ve had about two hundred thousand people downloaded and so if you want to get into deeper into the sort of conversation Michael and I are talking about and our perspective on how to untangle yourself from the things you’re tangled with and, and, and create transformation in your life. There’s the “Mind Hack” ebook, and then we got a little video series that we’ve put together for anybody who is interested.

 

 

MIKE: And well I think you’re so great. That’s why I even call you and be like hey are you taking on new clients? Hey, I may have someone for you. Because I really respect what you do, I’ve seen how many lives you’ve changed from people making a lot more money, to getting in better relationships, to find their purpose, to just changing their mindset so you’re, you’re an inscribable coach and uh…

 

 

DAVID: Thank you.

 

 

MIKE: ...if people are looking for a community of like-minded people, uh, that have a leader who is my brother--unrelatable and amazing then just follow my brother David Bayer on all socials . I think on Instagram it’s David Bayer 33 but I’ll post about him. Uh, we’ll talk to you guys very soon. Thanks for tuning into “Always Evolving” David.

 

 

DAVID: Thanks Mike.

 

 

MIKE: Hey guys, thanks for listening to “Always Evolving with Coach Mike Bayer” . Please subscribe and download, also let me know your thoughts, if you like this format to give you, smaller bite size podcast or do you like a longer version. Please rate and review it and I’ll talk to you guys real soon.

 

 

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