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The One Decision That Could Change It All

12/01/20

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Coach Mike Bayer: Thanks for listening to "Always Evolving". You can subscribe rate and review on Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. You can also follow me on social media at "CoachMikeBayer". Feel free to reshare anything you find helpful or useful on any of the podcasts of "Always Evolving". I have my free Empowerment Group, you can go to Coach Mike Bayer.com for more information on that, and today we're doing something a little different.  [00:00:30]I have a book coming out December 29th, which is available for pre-order on all platforms, It's called "One Decision" and the reality is one decision can change the trajectory of your life. And the goal is to really guide you through the process of ensuring that your decisions are coming from your true self or authentic self or what I call your best self. In "One Decision", we talk about the best way to make decisions, and there's something I call the four O's which we look at. What [00:01:00] is the obstacle or problem that someone's experiencing in their life? What is the opportunity with that problem? What's the one decision that could be made? And what's the outcome, where how can you let go of it? You know today I'm going to be helping some guests make one decision. We're going to kind of do a rapid fire where I'm going to be talking to different people that have been contacted by "Always Evolving" and for all of you who I haven't connected with yet who [00:01:30] are going to be talking to me today, you get what you put out of it. The universe has created this opportunity for us to connect and hopefully I can help assist you in making a decision or change that's in your best interest. You know I'm a skeptic. I always think like, well it can't be that easy, but it can be and I've learned that a can be. So I look forward to helping all you that I'm speaking with today on the podcast and so we have different [00:02:00] guest and LaFern who's the producer of "Always Evolving". LaFern, do you want to kind of give me a rundown on who I'm going to be talking today?

 

LaFern Cusack: Yes. So excited to have Sally, she's been struggling with making a decision about her relationship. She currently lives with her ex and she's receiving pressure both from her family to move up to Santa Fe with her parents or should she stay here with her ex-boyfriend.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Got it. So Sally's [00:02:30] living with her ex-boyfriend and she's unsure if she should move out and go with her family or stay where she's at?

 

LaFern Cusack: Right.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Hey Sally,

 

LaFern Cusack: Welcome Sally. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So Sally give me the lowdown.

 

Sally: Yeah, we have been to- my partner and I have been together for a long time, but for the last couple of years we've been living together not in a relationship. And it's amicable- I mean, I guess it would be horrible for a lot of people- we get along but it's kind of stuck both of our [00:03:00] lives right? We're not moving forward the only opportunity I have at the moment is this offer from my parents to, it's a little unclear but to help set me up where they live in Santa Fe. Not in their house but someplace else, but I don't like that idea either because I don't really love Santa Fe, but mostly I don't want my parents all involved in- they would be financially helping out choosing where I live, being that close to them. So I'm not thrilled with [00:03:30] either idea. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: I got you. 

 

Sally: I feel stuck.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So let's do a little, uh, future teleporting all right? So what I want you to do is I want you to sit still- which you are still- I see you sitting in space and what do you want your life to look like a year from now, so it's November 2020 now.

 

What do you want your life to really look like in November [00:04:00] 2021? 

 

Sally: Well, I- I can do that. I'd like to stay in Los Angeles and I- I see myself living in a house with my dog with a backyard. I can picture the house, living on my own supporting myself. Myself, my- not anybody else, supporting myself. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And why can't you do that today?

 

Sally: The short story is I lost my business about a year ago and I had to declare bankruptcy and I still haven't gotten [00:04:30] back on my feet yet. And I don't- that's what's going on basically.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay, and is it possible for you to be able to live in LA with a house with a dog a year from now?

 

Sally: I don't know. I'm open to moving someplace else. Like I said Santa Fe is not my first choice, but I'd like to make these decisions on my own without my parents being-. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: I got you. So say- but your let's say that a year from now you want to be living in LA with your dog. [00:05:00]

 

Sally: Yes.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Could it be an apartment or does it need to be a house?

 

Sally: I'd like it to be, as long as we're teleporting, I'd like it to be a house. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay and what part of town?

 

Sally: Probably the valley where I live now, I like it here.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And how much do you need to make a month in order to afford to have a place in the valley? 

 

Sally: With everything else, probably somewhere between eight and ten thousand dollars a month.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay, and how much are you currently making? 

 

Sally: Less than [00:05:30] 3.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay. 

 

Lots of people are supporting me. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: What do you mean by lots of people?

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Well my ex-boyfriend picks up a major part of the rent, my parents are helping me out right now.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay, and how much time during the day are you looking towards making more money? Honestly.

 

Sally:  None because I don't know what to do. I have a part-time job, but none, I don't- I'm  stuck in that too.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And what would you say are you really wanting- like your art- like your [00:06:00] previous job or previous business. What was the one to work?

 

Sally: I had a dog treat business, but before that I was a television writer. And my part-time job is teaching a college screenwriting class and I have looked into that a little bit, but I'm a writer, that's what I am.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay, and how much time are you- you're saying you're not putting any time towards writing for other people, potentially ghostwriting or- or writing content [00:06:30] or anything like that. You're kind of not doing that? 

 

Sally: I had a couple ghostwriting jobs for celebrities last year and it didn't really go well and I don't know how they fell into my lap. I don't really know how to pursue it. I looked into a course, you know, I have to learn some things about writing content. So I did look into a little bit about taking a class about that.

 

Coach Mike Bayer:  How much do you not believe in yourself right now?

 

Sally: Is there a scale or... 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Yeah, like 1 to [00:07:00] 10 10 being that you really freaking don't believe in yourself. You're like- 

 

Sally: Eight. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: I'm gonna-  you're okay- so you're up there. And why don't you believe in yourself? 

 

Sally: Because I think I've made a lot of mistakes and I've blown a lot of opportunities.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So because your history tells you that your what not going to be making ten to twelve thousand a month that you can't do it now?

 

Sally: Yeah, that I used to make a lot of money and then I somehow screwed it [00:07:30] up and then I screwed up this business and I don't really know what... 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: What does screwed up mean? 

 

Sally: I just blew a lot of opportunities. I had terrible writer's block and my agent dropped me, I couldn't get staffed on a show- I was on a really Big Show- and then the dog tree business. I just didn't know what I was doing and people through a lot of money at it and I just couldn't make it work.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay, are you wiser today than you were before or [00:08:00] you more jaded?

 

Sally: Can you be both?

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Yeah, can be. 

 

Sally: Yeah.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay, you- you have a belief that because you haven't made money in the past consistently that somehow you're incapable of doing that.

 

Sally: Yes. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: More likely than not.

 

Sally: Yes.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay, and you're pretty convinced of that? 

 

Sally: Yeah.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay.

 

Sally: I don't want to be- 80 percent probably. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: But then you're not putting energy towards not convincing [00:08:30] yourself for some reason?

 

Sally: No, I am putting energy into it. If I do anything all day it's that I'm trying to do whatever inner work I need to do to untangle this.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: No, but I'm talking about you're not making decisions to make more money?

 

Sally: No. I don't- I'm just stuck. You've-  you've never met anybody as stuck as me.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Oh I have I'm sure. Well, I think the thing is you're saying that the reality is what you want is you- a year from now you want to be living with your dog, [00:09:00] but your actions aren't matching up with that right now. And really your full-time job right now should be or I would suggest would be making money, like because what you want to do is be self-supporting and the more days that go by where you're not doing that the more it seems like you may be convinced that it's not possible or that you're not capable. Where as earlier in your career you maybe were a little [00:09:30] more like yeah, I can do this and- 

 

Sally: Yeah. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: An energy about it and then you took those moments of it not succeeding in convincing yourself that somehow you weren't good enough or qualified enough or you did something wrong and then that affects your self-esteem and it's like where do I go from here? So to me that the decision right now is not about whether or not to [00:10:00] live with Mom and Dad or to live in your current place. The decision right now is what you're going to do to start making money and making a commitment to do that. And so the opportunity in this is there's a lot of different ways to make money. You know like, I've had a lot of failed businesses. A lot, like I own this one business where I employed- it was called Black Sheep web Technologies. I employed recovering drug [00:10:30] addicts and people with mental health disorders and gave them jobs and I thought that I was going to do something great. And none of them even want to show up for work, you know, like it was a mess. Like I've had a ton, I'd Sober Living homes. It was too much to manage. Like I think the difference though is for you. You've convinced yourself that somehow that is your story. So what I'd like to get into is what could you do right now decision wise today, that would get you closer to [00:11:00] making more money? 

 

Sally: I have no idea.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay. Well, you've- your history shows you that you can write. Do believe you're a good writer?

 

Sally: Yes, I do.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay. You're a great writer.

 

Sally: Yes.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay. How confident are you in the how great of a writer you are? 

 

Sally: Nine out of ten.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So you're an amazing writer? Look I wrote a book, I- it takes me forever to write a paragraph, okay? Literally like I have to write a paragraph- it's like- it's torture for me. I'm somehow an author but [00:11:30] it's hard. So if you're an amazing writer, it sounds like somebody would potentially want you to write their stuff. So what could you currently be doing? Where is the money right now with writers?

 

Sally: I don't know. I mean when I look at the job boards, like indeed and stuff like that, even though I'm not qualified to write little blog posts and stuff like that- forget about it. It's- that doesn't pay any money but being a [00:12:00] ghostwriter I think was something that was- I don't know- I was kind of into it for a while. It's just- I had two bad experiences, but I like that idea.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay, when you say bad experiences, it's just because you didn't get the gig? 

 

No, that they- one with a celebrity worked out well, but then this private woman hired me and she was crazy and-. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Yeah, I mean-. 

 

Ended very badly. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: But by the way, like you didn't have chemistry and that's part of humanity. You're- you're [00:12:30] personalizing it.

 

Sally: Yes.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: It's not personal. You're going to deal with crazy. You're gonna have people who don't pay you, who are irrational, who have high demands, who tell you you're not good enough and that's just- it's part of life- that's people projecting their own stuff on you. But right now, like you could contact an agency and go straight. There's agents out there right now that are employing ghostwriters. A Ghostwriter [00:13:00] for a big book can make about $60,000 per book.

 

Sally: Yeah.I do know that. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Right. So what I want to do is I want to line up a few one decisions towards you being able to use your gift that I want you to start doing today.

 

Sally: Okay.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So making a decision to explore agencies that represent ghostwriters. Putting out your information on indeed or some of these other websites saying you're available for [00:13:30] newsletters, content, captions. Anything like that, right? So putting yourself out there for people to know your hireable. I mean- I we're always looking for people to do content, you know? So to me your decision right now is making a decision to allow yourself to be in your gift and just taking that action and stop telling yourself this story. I know it's hard but- telling yourself this story [00:14:00] that you're not enough because things don't work out in the past. I want you to put yourself out there as a writer. Does that seem overwhelming?

 

Sally: No, no..

 

Coach Mike Bayer: You would be doing what you love right?

 

Sally: Yes.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: What's your hesitation?

 

Sally: Some cynicism? I guess. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Of? 

 

Sally: That there- that it's going to be that easy to get a job. I'm on all these job boards when they send me [00:14:30] the listings every day i'm like, nope, I don't have that qualification, nope, I don't know that- 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Sally, Sally, it's never easy. But tell me why you're a badass.

 

Sally: I don't know. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Tell- no tell me why you got that strength. Tell me why you're a great writer.

 

Sally: It's just a gift. I don't know. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: You're gifted, right. You have this gift and you're not putting your gift out there because you're like, oh it's going to be hard. Yeah, it's going to be hard. But guess what you get to show up you get to put it out there you're proud of your product [00:15:00] and it's just- that's how it is. It's going to be hard but the cynicism it's not true. I bet you you're a better writer than me. I'm telling you. I'm a New York Times bestselling author. It takes me forever to write a book. I left. I mean, I love the process of like exploring but putting stuff together you're probably extremely gifted at it. So what do we need to do so you start not being cynical through this process?

 

Sally: I guess I just have to [00:15:30] put that aside like, like, you know when you listen to that voice in your head, but you just go "Okay, I hear you. Thank you very much, but I'm going to continue anyway", that kind of thing? 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Yeah. Yeah, it's like because I'm this life is short and this is the only life we have and you're a gifted writer- I can already tell you're probably extremely talented at writing and you're not even putting your work out there for the world or others to collaborate with so yeah. And keep in mind you start doing it today it's going to be hard [00:16:00] for a few weeks and you go into it going it's going to be hard and I'm going to have to shut off that voice, but you can do it you're capable of it.

 

Sally: I just lost that- you're right, I used to be that person 20 years ago. I had all the confidence in the world. I got crazy jobs just by getting in people's faces, but I just lost that. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Bring her back into the mix. I mean, I don't know if you got to bring out photos and your favorite marshmallow like s'mores from bad that time period but bring her back she still there. [00:16:30] You just got to bring her back into the mix and start making decisions as her and I understand you've been beaten down and you've had a lot of self-doubt and this isn't me just giving you the pep talk because you know, it's I'm talking to you right now. Look if the- the thing is we defeat ourselves and you just got to bring back the old Sally that was like "No I'm going to figure it out". You're capable.

 

Sally: Yeah. [00:17:00]

 

Coach Mike Bayer: But the decision- that's why I say the decision to me isn't about mom or dad are staying right now with your boyfriend. The decision is whether or not you're willing to do what it takes to for your art out into the world and be relentless about it. That's the decision. 

 

Sally: Right. No, that makes sense it's not about what I thought it was about. Yeah.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Alright, so you're going to make- are you good and comfortable to start making these decisions? 

 

Sally: This is amazing. Thank you.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And I have a free empowerment group on Tuesdays at 5 p.m.

 

Sally: Okay,

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And I [00:17:30] have great speakers great opportunity- It's a good mix of people so come to that too. Every Tuesday.

 

Sally: Okay.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: All right, thanks Sally.

 

Sally: Thank you. Thanks so much.

 

LaFern Cusack: That was awesome. I got inspired from that. It's funny how you use those things in your head that you say to yourself and it's not true.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Yeah, we all do it. It's crazy how much we doubt ourselves you know?

 

LaFern Cusack: Mike, next we have Greg [00:18:00] he feels like he has a decision deficit disorder. He's struggles booking auditions and he's an actor and magnificent. So he wants to explore different approaches to his art. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Great. Hey Greg- hey man.

 

Greg: How are you man? 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Good, you? 

 

Greg: Good, thanks man. It's really inspiring hearing you talk to Sally. Good luck Sally.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Well, what do you think when Sally was talking, what was your impression?

 

Greg: It was deep, you know, I'm probably a little bit older than her but it's that [00:18:30] same thing. This- this town is built on dreams and you come to town fearless and the old saying that you know, you think it's hard getting a job. It's hard keeping a job.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Yeah, and especially in a creative role because in the creative role it's almost like always the talent shines and there's this impression that- "but they're replaceable". It's like one day someone's [00:19:00] hot. It's like- it's like what Heidi Klum said on Project Runway, it's the same thing with entertainment. So what's going on with you Greg you have decision deficit disorder.

 

Greg: Well, yeah that- that's a friend of mines line, it's a great line. I guess that you know, I've had I've had great success when I was a few years back. And now that I have a big family and my wife has a business and I've started writing as well, you know in between these auditions. [00:19:30] So now, you know, I'm so blessed to still have an agent and a manager and they send me these auditions, but I'm having trouble committing with thinking that you know, well, I'm a marathon runner so I know that I can just persevere. I don't have trouble persevering and I'm having trouble committing to, you know, what route to take with these- with this creative and you know, like. I get into the creative moment, here it comes- I like what you said earlier too about "but don't take it personal its business". I'm able to do that but I fluctuate between, [00:20:00] "Okay this is just another one, let's do it" or "Oh my God. This is the one I need to treat it as precious as possible".

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Mmm,

 

Greg: And so it's sort of like- and neither of them are working and so now I'm- I'm sort of stuck with this like, you know, "each one that comes in". I try to you know, I'm having trouble deciding do I-. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Give me an example- give me an example of the last one that came in where you feel like am I being too precious or am I? 

 

Greg: I had this big one yesterday and every once in a while they come in [00:20:30] where they're just like, you know, this guy's taking his daughter to an audition for a fox show- I- taking my daughter to college, you know, my- and I have a real daughter who's of the same age, you know, so, um, and they're talking in the middle of the drive to take in her school. She says, "Dad I don't want to go. In fact, I've taken the tuition money and I've used it to get an apartment in Austin, Texas". And so anyway, you know, it's kids my age me and my daughter we talk about the [00:21:00] next stage of her life. And so I thought this is one that I got a treat as precious as possible now that this day and agent in acting, you know, you essentially are the casting directors, especially during the pandemic. So, you know, my wife is shooting it, you know, she's trying to help me and I'm trying my hardest and- you know, so I'm still waiting to hear on it. So yesterday's audition was to- I decided you know, I spent the whole day before memorizing complete memorization, I'm trying my hardest. I used to never really- [00:21:30] the hard part about being a casting director nowadays is that you can- you can just keep shooting until you get it right, which is torture, you know in the old days you go in you got one shot growing up in the theater. That wasn't pressure for me, I was performing. Now. It's like, "Okay, let's do it again. Let me look at you. Oh God. I look horrible. Let's do it again. Let's do it again". And you're trying to nail down the perfect take which that doesn't even happen in the business. You get, you know, you better get it right as soon as possible otherwise, you're going to look like a fool. So I [00:22:00] guess the trouble, not to trouble but I'm just looking for you know, I guess I don't know creative ways or other ways to- because like I said, I will persevere and I you know, I Run- I run constantly, so I don't have any problem running through pain and-. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Let me ask you a question.

 

Greg: Sure.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So your- you love to, more so than writing you love to act or or entertain, would that be accurate?

 

Greg: Yeah.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay, and [00:22:30] how much of that are you doing outside of your quote work? 

 

Greg: It- that's an interesting question. Well, I'm a writer now, so it's interesting acting is exterior and writing is interior, and, and I love writing. So I do a lot of writing, in fact, I might hire Sally after but to help me as a as a writing coach, but I do have a lot of creative interior work. I'm doing I don't perform-  [00:23:00]

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Hold on but my question is how much entertaining with the camera are you doing outside of auditions or work?

 

Greg: Let's see, I guess about two years ago I shot a short film- I wrote and shot a film but not- none on a day-to-day. I don't do it as a love like I mean like I used to I think- 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Why not? 

 

Greg: Well, you know because I got it, you know any free time I try to write because I think that I have stories worthy and that that's precious time. That's not the number [00:23:30] one thing that I do. So any free time I do I do have to be creative but it's interior work. It's writing and so that's super challenging and as also it's really hard in Los Angeles to find, you know, joyous for the sake of work. I mean for the sake of the Love of the Game, you know, like Jordan used to say in this town.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Hold on so what you're telling me because my question is, how much are you doing for fun? How much entertaining are you doing for [00:24:00] fun?

 

Greg: None.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Like I can tell you so I'm a life coach, right and I helped a ton of people for free. Like I had someone showing up in my house two days ago I met with someone else the other day. Like I'm not- it's not- I'm not getting paid. No one knows about it and I enjoy it. It's just fun and what it does is it creatively gives me purpose and meaning and it doesn't make things so precious. Right? And I [00:24:30] think that especially in today's time and with covid you could constantly be creating content for fun that could take you 10 minutes a day. 

 

Greg: Interesting. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Because you want to charge up. You don't- my suggestion to you, I mean people can do whatever they want, but it becomes really precious when it's the only thing. 

 

Greg: Interesting. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: When it's fun and you're just creating to create and it's not necessarily just for a job that really [00:25:00] makes something well-rounded and will help you with being able to be in your art because all of a sudden it becomes all about like, "okay, if I do this do I get the job if I do this is this going to be work", but that's not why you're an artist. That's not why you're doing it to begin with. 

 

Greg: Right.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And that's where I see a lot of people end up in this spot. Where kind of like what I was- I mean in a way it's with social media today. You may only get five people viewing it but [00:25:30] have fun like just because those auditions are gone no one's seen them.

 

Greg: Right. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So, how are we going to see who Greg is and how are we going to connect with them?

 

Greg: Right, right and that frees up that frees up the creativity that brings that keeps the love and the joy and it's not, um contained within the business, you know. Like I don't I don't force it to, under that pressure. So yeah, it's interesting.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: What [00:26:00] could you do creatively for fun that you would love that wouldn't feel like work where you're entertaining?

 

Greg: Yeah, you know, I have a natural gift with children and funny voices and characters and, and it's simple logic and you know talking to kids in a very logical funny interesting way. That's interesting.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: What could you do with that?

 

Greg: You know, you could I could create little- it's funny when covid first started, [00:26:30] I had a sock on my hand and putting my turning my sock inside out and doing a puppet and made it a voice.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Yeah. 

 

Greg: And I talked about how put your underwear on properly. You know, luckily. No one came in while I was joking around but I see what you're saying. That's interesting. Yeah, it could create little little vignettes of- of performance. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And put it out in the world right and have fun with it.

 

Greg: No doubt, I think passion and joy are [00:27:00] necessities. Interesting when you're growing up you never thought that you would ever have to- whoever would have guess you'd have to work at you know, creating joy and pushing yourself to you know, enjoy and love what you're doing, but it seems necessary to say. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: I mean how important is it for you to bring money in right now in this moment?

 

Greg: It's important. My wife- my wife has a great business and I'm a help her in any way. I'm the fixer of her company, so whatever needs to happen. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So you guys- you guys are [00:27:30] affording where you live and ya still maintain.

 

Greg: We're not under- not a desperate times yet we're very blessed.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: You're not moving in with mom and dad like Sally.

 

Greg: No, no and I we love each other and we get along good but I did lose my insurance last year, you know sag has great insurance and I fell under the so that was really tough blow because I always had provided that for my family now we have to pay for that. So, so that added that added to the pressure of each audition being- I [00:28:00] try to look at them like, you know, kind of like what you're suggesting, my moment to perform within this within this audition, but I think that's putting too much pressure. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: It puts, you know, it puts pressure and a quiet desperation.

 

Greg: Yeah. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And that quiet desperation doesn't lead to art and it doesn't lead you to being at your best and when you're able to do on your- because it becomes so much about my self-esteem or how good I am is contingent on someone else going.

 

Greg: This is- 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: "We love you Greg". [00:28:30] And so to me the more comfortable you get where you're like, oh that's kind of brilliant what I just did and I kind of love it. You know I'm playing with this sock puppet, I'm having a ball and yet people may think it's ridiculous.

 

Greg: Right. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: But it- it- it's that that I would suggest in terms of your one decision is your one decision is about doing something creatively for the fun of it.

 

Greg: Yeah, intresting-. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And putting it out there because to me that's, there's [00:29:00] no balance right now.

 

Greg: Yeah.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So what can we do? What's the one decision we can start making that can start right away around you doing this for fun?

 

Greg: I like, I like the idea of creating, you know of creating some silly fun content, you know, the little purpose in it. My- both my parents were social workers, and I've I have the blood and bones of a caring and giving and- and a special Knack with kids. So maybe I could start making funny poignant little videos and seeing how far out they [00:29:30] could reach in.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So, so is there- can people follow you on social media to see this content?

 

Greg: Yeah. Yeah, they can- I you know, I could I could do that that could be that could be interesting. I could start a little page and just for the fun of it. I like that idea.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Yes, start up a little page. I'll reshare it on my Instagram when you launch it. Let me know when it happens and get this, get this party started.

 

Greg: I hear you man and that that is that that is the truth, you do- you know, you got to really- it's hard to believe that you got to make an effort to balance because the [00:30:00] stress will just, will just pull you under. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Dries you up.

 

Greg: Yeah man. I really appreciate it. I really appreciate it man. That's that's really solid strong positive advice, and I am greatly- I'm grateful so, thanks.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Thanks Greg. Thanks for coming on. 

 

Greg: My pleasure.

 

Now we have Rachel she is on social media all the time and she doesn't know how to disconnect because that's her job and it requires her to be [00:30:30] there. 24/7. Okay. Hey, Rachel.

 

Rachel: Hey, hello I'm so happy to be here. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Hello, nice to meet you.

 

Rachel: Nice to meet you too.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: You're a- social media is your job? 

 

Rachel: Well, I do ghostwriting, social media, I ghostwritten multiple articles and huge magazines but social media is the main one.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: That's your main career?

 

Rachel: Well, I'm an actress and a dancer but social media is what brings in the money. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Brings in the money. Okay, and why do you not like being on [00:31:00] 24/7 social media? I mean it seems obvious but what for you to is going on?

 

Rachel: Well, what happens is it's like that little girl in the well and the Rings it never sleeps and it just comes creeping out of the well and snatching me out of my sleep. There have been times when I've woke- I've awakened clutching my chest and gasps my breath goes, "Did I remember to post it? Did I remember to post it?" And it's- it's the exact opposite experience that most users are having. Most users are playing and hosting and this and that. I've done so much work for so [00:31:30] many celebrities and TV shows Etc. My social media is dead, and I have all these great ideas, but I don't have time because this is happening tomorrow, "We need this this, this, this, this this it all has to happen. Oh my God this happened". And so they're constantly- in the way it's under being an under earning on my part because they're asking me to do way more and then I just start doing it and then building a story a really good story anybody's Instagram story might be like two seconds, but when I'm building one professionally it can go from anywhere from 15 minutes to two hours [00:32:00] depending on all the little people who need to be tags the logos but need to be protocol in, you know what I mean? It just becomes something that I'm constantly here- and I have these two beautiful men in my life. I have a son- a virtual and you I have a part-time job to I'm also a teacher by decree of covid-19. I am a part-time teacher for virtual school. Thank you very much and he needs me and I'm staring at this phone and this brothers like, "excuse me. I need help with my math" and I can't do it.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Do [00:32:30] you love handling other people's social media for a living?

 

Rachel: I'm gonna put a yes with a little asterisk above it. And that love is- I happen- if I believe in what somebody's doing I get super excited and that's where I have to learn to draw boundaries. That's where I have to slow it down. So yeah, I want to say love- love is a strong word. I like it and I get passionate when people are about passionate about things that are going to add to the beauty of the world. But [00:33:00] do I love it more than acting or dancing or making characters with my son or being silly and romantic with my husband, no. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay, but this is what makes you the money and this is what kind you're tied to so it's like, all right, "Well, I got to figure out a way to love it because it's on me right now", right?

 

Rachel: Well, it's kind of like I'm good at it too. I come I don't think like a typical social media person. I think that's why people keep referring me. It's just I'd probably love it more if I charged [00:33:30] more appropriately. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Got it So-. 

 

Rachel: I think a lot more.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: You'd love it a lot more and why don't you charge more?

 

Rachel: This is an interesting question. There's a standard that's totally normal and I know people who charge more. 

 

What's the standard just so I can understand. 

 

Rachel: Anywhere from I'd say fifteen to twenty five hundred a month and that's depending- I'm being very broad, but that's about right and what I deliver is typically way more [00:34:00] than what other people are delivering. There's this this fear, this is the story. I heard you talking- I was trying to take notes while you were talking everybody but I heard you talk about, you know, this cute little storyteller in your head that says "They can't afford it. Why are you being so mean, charge them less" And the truth of the matter is I know when I deliver I'm adding value and therefore I charge- I should be charging XY and Z and there is just this fear like, "Uh oh I've just got to get this", you know [00:34:30] this job on certain occasions and- or don't want to lose this one because I'm getting calls from friends and they're wanting to know if I know of anything and if anybody that's hiring, you know what I mean?

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So it sounds like- sounds like you want to get some bigger clients pay more money or you want clients to pay you more money?

 

Rachel: Yes, and I might put sane in there as well. I'm not trying to add any more interesting characters into my life. You know what I mean? Yeah, so [00:35:00] I've got some wonderful clients right now, which is great and I could take on a couple of more so that I can you know, do what I need to do.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Well what if the new clients that you took on, there's a new rate?

 

Rachel: Oh, yes. That's absolutely a must and that's where the fear is is like well so-and-so told me that you only charged them that. I'm like "Oh really?" Yeah. I haven't even-. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay. So the fear is that- what's the fear though? If you're able to say yeah, that's when I first started that's what I was charging. But now [00:35:30] I have the wisdom the skills I've built up more behind and to be honest, I should charge them more but you know, I kind of Grant- they got the grandfather rate know and I know I'm really good and I know I'm going to turn your stuff out like. 

 

Rachel: Right. Well people are looking for me to help them walk on water and resurrect people from the dead when I when I come on which I think is funny. There's this miracle expectation of 20 million followers, and I'm like, honey this is not a microwave, this is a crock [00:36:00] pot business if you want a million followers, you can do something ridiculous and try to get attention but it's a building process. And I- you want to call me and you want me to be on call that charges more and I think I'm on call with people when I don't need to be on call with people. That comes from working with celebrities Etc.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Are you working with any corporations or businesses?

 

Rachel: I am not working with corporations or businesses at the moment. But when I did, I charged appropriately.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Okay, and how did- would a corporation or business find you right now?

 

Rachel: I've [00:36:30] been up until recently by referral. I'm not you know-

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Do you have a website?

 

Rachel: Oh, yes, I broke it. And that's another part of my thing, like that's just another thing I need to fix. I put something up that changed everything about it so it looks insane. I have a little "Bitly" link that I can send people to and a Dropbox link, but my website, I don't know what I did but I have completely ruined it. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: The problem you have is because there's two ways to go my suggestion with your business one is you end up having someone that [00:37:00] you hire inexpensively who helps you maintain some of your clients and you build out a social media business like as a business. 

 

Rachel: Right. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Or you take on less clients, but charge more and your able to give more energy because at the end of the day, you know, you're going to have clients that are paying a lot less that have expectations of the same people that are paying twice as much. 

 

Rachel: That's exactly what is currently happening and I work with great [00:37:30] subcontractors, but I need to charge a certain amount of money so I can pay my subcontractors who are fabulous people who can support me administratively.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: All right, my suggestion to you right now is you got to get your website right? Because in order to charge more money or get clients that are going to pay more money. They're going to be looking at you as a brand and seeing how organized you are.

 

Rachel: Yes.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: You know, it's always interesting to if you're trying to get people from social media and you don't have a big social media. They'll be like, well, how does this person know how to do it if their stuffs not big and then [00:38:00] the you could always say, well, that's not my- what I'm trying to do is grow my social media platform, my jobs to grow yours, right but- 

 

Rachel: Right, but I have great referrals. But your point is clearly even if I don't have a lot of followers just to be posting regularly for myself which and I was listening to what you said to the gentleman previously and like I've so much fun stuff and I just like I'm exhausted. My eyes are burning, I want to see it by the time I'm done with everybody else.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: But if you were making a lot more money, [00:38:30] honey your vision gets a lot more clear. 

 

Rachel: That right.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: All of a sudden it's like like I got clear eyes right- I got clear eyes right here and all of a sudden you throw it back and you pull it, you pull that shit together, right?

 

Rachel: So all of a sudden, oh, look at that.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: It's like yeah. So the idea, the idea is you don't want to have like a moat which a moat surrounds a castle and it's this- that's a huge thing right where you have all these little things all around it. The [00:39:00] model, it sounds like what you need so you can spend time with your son and your husband and focus on your stuff is to get higher paying clients.

 

Rachel: Yes.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: But less of them. 

 

Rachel: Absolutely and I would fall in love with them because that's what I do with my clients. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Because you're amazing.

 

Rachel: Yeah. I just love them, that's why I get with them.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: So there's two things I would suggest or three things. Right? The one decision to make is get your website, right because any Corporation or institution is immediately going to look at your website, That's one. Two, [00:39:30] figure out how to put yourself out there so your name is thrown in the ring when these companies want to bring different people on right? Because it's great to get word of mouth, but it's also great to have people end up finding what you do.

 

Rachel: I'd much rather than find me the word of mouth thing. Just I mean that's a given and obviously and makes perfect sense. I almost feel silly even hearing you say it but it's true. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And then tell me like with your website, [00:40:00] how much are you going to represent that you're a freaking amazing at this? 

 

Rachel: Big time. I'll put up my client referrals. I'll put up some of my favorite work. I'll put up some work that got a lot of traction with Facebook ads and-. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: You can get some testimonials. 

 

Rachel: Absolutely testimonials. I can definitely get- I tend to be able to help people with their hair on fire. The problem is people with their hair on fire act like people with their hair on fire. They're screaming they're in pain there and you're suddenly the [00:40:30] person who's supposed to make it right. I'm like I can't get in my time machine and go back and have you start doing this four months ago? Yeah, you know, but I don't necessarily love it when people's hair's on fire. I'd like to deal with people who are living in the world of reality that requires a cr-. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: When their hair is on fire and you're making more money or like let me just spray some water on. I'm telling you it hurts because a certain point you're like, why am I dealing with all this BS when like you're not even pay me that much money [00:41:00] and your,  the intensity around it doesn't match the expectations.

 

Rachel: Thats Right. And you know, what if I charge them three times- and a friend of mine who's like a mentor. She said they ask you to do what she said. You should have told them your rate was triple because you know, they're going to need- have all kinds of needs that people who are not in a panic do not have these needs. They have needs that need immediate addressing you need support. You just put yourself into this basket now, you know, yeah, so yeah [00:41:30]. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Website. 

 

Rachel: Put yourself out there.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Put yourself out there and then I mean that would be the decision I would be making right now. Like I understand you've chosen a profession where your phone is going to be connected to you. I mean for now this is the profession it is the job right. And it's there. It's just like I'm a life coach. So I was at people calling me asking me for help.

 

Rachel: Okay, Okay.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: It's what I signed up for and the different-. 

 

Rachel: Wears the crown, right? 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And the difference [00:42:00] is you got to get what you deserve.

 

Rachel: Yeah.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: And what you've earned in you're going off some old school mentality of that's a little fear-based and you got to just do you now. It's like it's Rachel's time.

 

Yeah, and I can hear that little voice and it's an old voice from a family member. That's what we don't want to charge them too much. You don't want to scare them. That's the big. 

 

Rachel: You do want to scare them what you want to get away from me. If you don't want to pay me for what I'm worth right? You should be scared. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: I'm not a charity case. I got a son. I got [00:42:30] a husband, now it's my time.

 

Rachel: That's right. That's right. It is my time. That's right.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: That makes sense. The- 

 

Rachel: Makes Perfect sense. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Where you go right now?

 

Rachel: Yeah.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: All right, cool.

 

Rachel: Thank you. 

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Cant wait to hear. All right, thanks Rachel. 

 

Rachel: Take Care, thank you.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: Bye.

 

Rachel: Bye.

 

Coach Mike Bayer: First I want to thank all three of the guests that I had today; Sally, Greg, and Rachel you can do this and [00:43:00] if you follow what we defined- really I go off of where you're at. It's- sure I have my own experience and stuff like that. But what I try to help people do is quickly figure out what decision they can start making today. That's a better step towards getting the life that you really want. And so I appreciate you guys being honest and vulnerable with me. Also for all the listeners let me know what you guys thought of this format and make sure to check out my next book "One Decision: [00:43:30] The First Step to a Better Life" comes out December 29th. Download, subscribe and until the next time keep it magical, thank you. The always evolving with Coach Mike Bayer podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a replacement or substitution for any Professional, Medical, Financial, legal or other advice diagnosis or treatment this podcast does [00:44:00] not constitute the practice of medicine or any other professional service. The use of any information provided during this podcast is at the listeners own risk. For medical or other advice appropriate to your specific situation, please consult a physician or other trained professionals.